i did listen to katy perry's "last friday night" on friday, so i guess she can take 4 minutes of credit for the great run that i had. finishing a long run is seriously one of the most satisfying feelings.
yeah, it felt good!
Monday, October 17, 2011
macaroni grill...
i love my team and just how nice they are to me... this is a little drawing from chelsey when we went to macaroni grill in texas. did i mention that my girls love to give me a hard time about mr jones... it's all good fun right?!
Monday, October 10, 2011
happy monday :)
so, my dearest daniel tucked me into bed last night before he left on his long drive back to salt lake. as i was dozing off, he was fast at work secretly creating this little number. as i rolled out of bed this morning, i walked into the dark bathroom, still half asleep... the lights came on and i was immediately awakened and in awe! a ginormous grin took over my face and there were some tears in my eyes! yeah, i'm the luckiest girl ever... i love him!
best monday ever!
Friday, June 17, 2011
words of wisdom.
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."
-Helen Keller
of course this coincides with the great Sound of Music quote from Maria...
"When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window."
*i feel like this has been me for the past few weeks, but not any more! the door is closed and my eyes are opened and my hands are searching for new doors and window to open and embark upon!
-Helen Keller
of course this coincides with the great Sound of Music quote from Maria...
"When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window."
*i feel like this has been me for the past few weeks, but not any more! the door is closed and my eyes are opened and my hands are searching for new doors and window to open and embark upon!
letter to a friend...
*this is an email i wrote to my dear friend bekah the other day. we were together at "girls' weekend" and she was getting the scoop about daniel. i told her about my "may madness" and how i was reading the BOM in 30 days and really trying to figure out what Heavenly Father wanted me to do especially about daniel. this is my response to her questioning... and this is more for my journaling than anything, and i gotta say it was so theraputic to write out my thoughts and feelings.
Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you! Umm where to begin… it has been a pretty emotional roller coaster for me trying to figure all of this out and what it comes down to right now is no, I’m not supposed to be with Daniel. When I put my emotional attachments aside and find that glimmer of hope, I know that it’s either not the time or I’ll find someone else, and that it is ok. The hard part has been letting those emotional attachments go because I do still miss him and think about him all of the time. I think, though, my problem isn’t knowing whether he is right for me or not, it’s having that faith, hope, and trust in Heavenly Father’s plan that everything is going to work out no matter what. And that I need to stop focusing and worrying about the future and the “what ifs” and just live each day. It’s been an emotional battle, but one that has truly strengthened me spiritually because I have had to rely on my Savior and the atonement and literally give Him these feelings of longing, confusion, and hopelessness.
I’ve seen Daniel once in the past few weeks. I was kind of expecting to get a huge feeling of “yes, I want to be with you” or “definitely not”, but instead i got the feeling that our relationship has changed and it’s not right, at least right now, and I’m ok with it. The scary thing for me now is taking that step into the dark and being single with no dates or gentlemen callers and with that comes the feeling of loneliness and hopelessness accompanied by thoughts of “will I ever find someone who loves me or treats me like he does”. Then there’s the fact that he is dating someone, and that brought a whole new array of emotions of being happy that he’s able to progress and move on, and then the hurt and longing and frustration that he found it so easy to find someone else. I’m such a girl and have way too many mixed emotions!
So yes, I’m moving forward and getting over Daniel. My trial is now having that hope and trust in Heavenly Father and in myself that I will be able to date and form new relationships and allow myself to open my heart up to someone else.
I don’t know if that all makes sense or answers your questions, but I’ve felt more at peace the last couple days about everything. I’m just forcing myself to focus on each day and not worry about the future. I’m trying to “act and not be acted upon” and working to utilize every opportunity to better myself and strengthen and form new friendships and relationships with others. There is hope in the future, my dear Bekah, and all will be ok!
so yes, it is onward and upward for me. i'm excited and nervous about what Heavenly Father has planned for me, but am putting my trust in Him. i'm taking life one day at a time and thrusting out all thoughts and worries about the future. i'm trying to "get my ducks in a row", as mom always says, and i am ok with that. i feel so blessed to have such incredible friends, and of course my mother and sister, who continue to stand by me and support me during my emotional battles. i had no idea that breaking up was this hard. again, my eyes are opened as i continue to learn from the different experiences and obstacles that are placed in front of me. i just hope i'm ready for the next one!
much loves and hope :)
Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you! Umm where to begin… it has been a pretty emotional roller coaster for me trying to figure all of this out and what it comes down to right now is no, I’m not supposed to be with Daniel. When I put my emotional attachments aside and find that glimmer of hope, I know that it’s either not the time or I’ll find someone else, and that it is ok. The hard part has been letting those emotional attachments go because I do still miss him and think about him all of the time. I think, though, my problem isn’t knowing whether he is right for me or not, it’s having that faith, hope, and trust in Heavenly Father’s plan that everything is going to work out no matter what. And that I need to stop focusing and worrying about the future and the “what ifs” and just live each day. It’s been an emotional battle, but one that has truly strengthened me spiritually because I have had to rely on my Savior and the atonement and literally give Him these feelings of longing, confusion, and hopelessness.
I’ve seen Daniel once in the past few weeks. I was kind of expecting to get a huge feeling of “yes, I want to be with you” or “definitely not”, but instead i got the feeling that our relationship has changed and it’s not right, at least right now, and I’m ok with it. The scary thing for me now is taking that step into the dark and being single with no dates or gentlemen callers and with that comes the feeling of loneliness and hopelessness accompanied by thoughts of “will I ever find someone who loves me or treats me like he does”. Then there’s the fact that he is dating someone, and that brought a whole new array of emotions of being happy that he’s able to progress and move on, and then the hurt and longing and frustration that he found it so easy to find someone else. I’m such a girl and have way too many mixed emotions!
So yes, I’m moving forward and getting over Daniel. My trial is now having that hope and trust in Heavenly Father and in myself that I will be able to date and form new relationships and allow myself to open my heart up to someone else.
I don’t know if that all makes sense or answers your questions, but I’ve felt more at peace the last couple days about everything. I’m just forcing myself to focus on each day and not worry about the future. I’m trying to “act and not be acted upon” and working to utilize every opportunity to better myself and strengthen and form new friendships and relationships with others. There is hope in the future, my dear Bekah, and all will be ok!
so yes, it is onward and upward for me. i'm excited and nervous about what Heavenly Father has planned for me, but am putting my trust in Him. i'm taking life one day at a time and thrusting out all thoughts and worries about the future. i'm trying to "get my ducks in a row", as mom always says, and i am ok with that. i feel so blessed to have such incredible friends, and of course my mother and sister, who continue to stand by me and support me during my emotional battles. i had no idea that breaking up was this hard. again, my eyes are opened as i continue to learn from the different experiences and obstacles that are placed in front of me. i just hope i'm ready for the next one!
much loves and hope :)
Monday, May 16, 2011
words to live by...
"that which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do -- not that the nature of the thing is changed, but that our power to do is increased."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
"we are what we do repeatedly. excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
-Aristotle
"we become what we want to be, by consistently being what we want to become each day."
-Richard G. Scott
here are some other words from the dear, Richard G. Scott that i'm trying to live by...
"If you have determined to live righteously, don't become discouraged. Life may seem difficult now, but hold on tightly to that iron rod of truth. You are making better progress than you realize. Your struggles are defining your character, discipline, and confidence in the promises of your Father in Heaven and the Savior as you consistently obey Their commandments. May the Holy Ghost prompt you to always make decisions that fortify your character and yield much joy and happiness."
i just found great comfort in these words today. i truly feel that the struggles we go through and how we react to every trial and experience does define us and refine us. and when handled correctly, they bring us closer to our Father in Heaven.
i'm in the "defining" process and figuring out who i am and just how strong i can be...
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
"we are what we do repeatedly. excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
-Aristotle
"we become what we want to be, by consistently being what we want to become each day."
-Richard G. Scott
here are some other words from the dear, Richard G. Scott that i'm trying to live by...
"If you have determined to live righteously, don't become discouraged. Life may seem difficult now, but hold on tightly to that iron rod of truth. You are making better progress than you realize. Your struggles are defining your character, discipline, and confidence in the promises of your Father in Heaven and the Savior as you consistently obey Their commandments. May the Holy Ghost prompt you to always make decisions that fortify your character and yield much joy and happiness."
i just found great comfort in these words today. i truly feel that the struggles we go through and how we react to every trial and experience does define us and refine us. and when handled correctly, they bring us closer to our Father in Heaven.
i'm in the "defining" process and figuring out who i am and just how strong i can be...
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
the great outdoors...
this morning i was supposed to complete my "long" run for the week, a big 11 miles. i was pretty pumped about it, and i even decided that it would be great to do it outside. well, i hate excuses but i've been kinda sick since last friday with a sore throat and stuffy-ness. i just hack and cough and blow and snort, and it is just disgusting. my nose is raw and i'm running out of tissues and day/ny-quil! i know, its such a sad story. but i've been able to push through it in the gym because there are facilities and lots of kleenex. like i said, i hate making excuses and feel like a failure if i let a little cold stop me in my tracks.
anyways, i woke up with a sore throat and decided to drink some water, pop some pills, grab a cough drop and i was out the door! it was a beautiful cloudy morning and perfect running conditions. well like ten minutes into it i was hacking stuff up and blowing stuff out, and it just wasn't a pretty sight. to paint the picture, i left a great trail of spit along the way and my shirt was my kleenex... yeah, disgusting! so needless to say, i gave in a bit and didn't get the full 11 miles in and only did about 7 miles and i probably walked about a mile of it. so not the worst, but not ideal.
i'm just excited that i can run again and that i have the mental and physical ability to run outside... for some reason that's harder for me to do than on a treadmill. i can't wait to get better so i can complete a run outside. oh the exciting life i live!
question... is it better to work out when you are sick which can either help the cause or make the healing take longer, or is it better to wait it out and possibly heal quicker?
anyways, i woke up with a sore throat and decided to drink some water, pop some pills, grab a cough drop and i was out the door! it was a beautiful cloudy morning and perfect running conditions. well like ten minutes into it i was hacking stuff up and blowing stuff out, and it just wasn't a pretty sight. to paint the picture, i left a great trail of spit along the way and my shirt was my kleenex... yeah, disgusting! so needless to say, i gave in a bit and didn't get the full 11 miles in and only did about 7 miles and i probably walked about a mile of it. so not the worst, but not ideal.
i'm just excited that i can run again and that i have the mental and physical ability to run outside... for some reason that's harder for me to do than on a treadmill. i can't wait to get better so i can complete a run outside. oh the exciting life i live!
question... is it better to work out when you are sick which can either help the cause or make the healing take longer, or is it better to wait it out and possibly heal quicker?
Monday, May 9, 2011
thoughts about myself... i know, i'm so self centered!
- i'd rather hang out with my family then go out with friends
- i like going to the gym, and yes, i will plan my schedule and "hanging out" around a certain gym class or getting a work out it... AND it frustrates me when people get annoyed with that or roll their eyes or make stupid little comments. it's not that i don't want to hang out with them, i just need to sweat
- i eat dessert for breakfast... cookies, brownies, cookie dough, chocolate cake, candy, ice cream... you name it, i've had it for breakfast and lunch and dinner
- i hate snowboarding because the one time i tried it i couldn't even stand up. i was mortified and never want to experience that feeling again!
- i love soda... bring on the diet DP or fresca with strawberry... and i will not drink it if it is not diet. gotta save my calories somehow.
- i am a people pleaser, and i think this is a good and bad thing. a good thing cause i like to help people out. a bad thing cause i find myself doing it just to make me feel of worth.
- i would rather wake up early on a saturday or holiday and go to a favorite gym class and run then sleep in... of course i come home and go back to sleep :)
- i dump my chocolate chips into the peanut butter jar and eat it with a spoon!
- i like to bake and cook for people
- i am not creative
- i am indecisive with so many things. often times i won't share my emotions or thoughts because i'm afraid i'll change my mind and that people will get mad or bugged that i changed my mind
- i feel very inadequate at my job. i have the administrative and office work down, and even coaching on the sideline is ok, but if i had to plan and run practices or coach in matches, i would be scared to death
- i have the best conversations with myself whilst driving.
- i love the outdoors. i want to hike every mountain, go on bike rides, take walks, swim in lakes and oceans, go on picnics, play catch... i just need someone to do it with.
- i am an emotional eater. it is a bad habit that i'm trying to break. if i know yumminess is there, i have a hard time fighting the urge to devour it
- i love going to movies and watching chick flicks
- the biggest loser is my favorite show
- i love pink
- i am OCD about cleaning, and get so annoyed with my roommates when they don't pick up after themselves.
- i don't like listening to music on sunday and i want to stop watching non-uplifting movies on sunday
- i love listening to general conference and listen to talks most mornings
- i solve all of my problems by taking naps... seriously this solves all my hunger issues and bad mood and laziness... too bad i can't always sleep at my job.
- i hate that i hate the fall season so much
- i hate being cold
- i love jillian michaels and think she is awesome at what she does
- i could move in with my parentals and be completely ok with it
- i'm a blog stalker and sometimes even a facebook stalker
- i hate laying out, unless i'm in the pool. i'd so rather be doing something active to get tan
- i'm scared to play in an outdoor tournament cause i don't want to get hurt again
- i don't know where i'd be if i didn't have my job
- i need structure. i can't have nothing to do or else i eat!
- i still think about getting back together with daniel and even marrying him
-i need to communicate better with those around me
- i'm not as tough as i think
-my family is the best EVER!
- i would be absolutely lost, miserable, and hopeless without the gospel of Jesus Christ
- i like going to the gym, and yes, i will plan my schedule and "hanging out" around a certain gym class or getting a work out it... AND it frustrates me when people get annoyed with that or roll their eyes or make stupid little comments. it's not that i don't want to hang out with them, i just need to sweat
- i eat dessert for breakfast... cookies, brownies, cookie dough, chocolate cake, candy, ice cream... you name it, i've had it for breakfast and lunch and dinner
- i hate snowboarding because the one time i tried it i couldn't even stand up. i was mortified and never want to experience that feeling again!
- i love soda... bring on the diet DP or fresca with strawberry... and i will not drink it if it is not diet. gotta save my calories somehow.
- i am a people pleaser, and i think this is a good and bad thing. a good thing cause i like to help people out. a bad thing cause i find myself doing it just to make me feel of worth.
- i would rather wake up early on a saturday or holiday and go to a favorite gym class and run then sleep in... of course i come home and go back to sleep :)
- i dump my chocolate chips into the peanut butter jar and eat it with a spoon!
- i like to bake and cook for people
- i am not creative
- i am indecisive with so many things. often times i won't share my emotions or thoughts because i'm afraid i'll change my mind and that people will get mad or bugged that i changed my mind
- i feel very inadequate at my job. i have the administrative and office work down, and even coaching on the sideline is ok, but if i had to plan and run practices or coach in matches, i would be scared to death
- i have the best conversations with myself whilst driving.
- i love the outdoors. i want to hike every mountain, go on bike rides, take walks, swim in lakes and oceans, go on picnics, play catch... i just need someone to do it with.
- i am an emotional eater. it is a bad habit that i'm trying to break. if i know yumminess is there, i have a hard time fighting the urge to devour it
- i love going to movies and watching chick flicks
- the biggest loser is my favorite show
- i love pink
- i am OCD about cleaning, and get so annoyed with my roommates when they don't pick up after themselves.
- i don't like listening to music on sunday and i want to stop watching non-uplifting movies on sunday
- i love listening to general conference and listen to talks most mornings
- i solve all of my problems by taking naps... seriously this solves all my hunger issues and bad mood and laziness... too bad i can't always sleep at my job.
- i hate that i hate the fall season so much
- i hate being cold
- i love jillian michaels and think she is awesome at what she does
- i could move in with my parentals and be completely ok with it
- i'm a blog stalker and sometimes even a facebook stalker
- i hate laying out, unless i'm in the pool. i'd so rather be doing something active to get tan
- i'm scared to play in an outdoor tournament cause i don't want to get hurt again
- i don't know where i'd be if i didn't have my job
- i need structure. i can't have nothing to do or else i eat!
- i still think about getting back together with daniel and even marrying him
-i need to communicate better with those around me
- i'm not as tough as i think
-my family is the best EVER!
- i would be absolutely lost, miserable, and hopeless without the gospel of Jesus Christ
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
thank you Yellowcard...
there's nothing like running to old school Yellowcard! i'd like to thank them for getting me through my long run this morning. i was about to die at mile 7, but "Breathing" started playing and I started breathing! i love it when i get lost in the music and the time seems to pass a bit faster.
i love Yellowcard! Maegan and I would listen to it before every match back in the day... great pump up tunes!
this is another favorite... "Only One"
so i survived the 10 miler, and my body is actually feeling good 12 hours later. thank heaven it is over though!
2 random tid-bits for the day...
A. i was doing a campus visit with a recruit this morning and whilst walking in the halls we ran into President Holland, UVU's president and son of Elder Holland. we started chatting with him and he introduced him to his friend, Henry Eyring, the son of President Eyring. sons of 2 apostles... pretty cool huh!
2. i'm trying to like spinach because apparently it is good for you. well, i've been putting it in my eggs and salads which with some dressing it isn't that bad. well tonight i made one of my delicious quesadilla salads with spinach and lettuce. it was actually really good and quite healthy. all i do is heat up a wheat tortilla in a pan, add a little bit of cheese, tonight i added chicken, and then when it's nice and crispy i dump on the lettuce and spinach and salsa! i eat it with a for first and then when the mountain of greens is gone, i either fill it up with more vegies or eat it like a taco. not too shabby right?!
well, it's been a pretty good day. run, recruit, lunch with my cuz and met her little baby Brixton, sunshine, work, biggest loser, temple, dinner, and now it's scripture and bed time... my life is so hard, right?! i just love summer!
i love Yellowcard! Maegan and I would listen to it before every match back in the day... great pump up tunes!
this is another favorite... "Only One"
so i survived the 10 miler, and my body is actually feeling good 12 hours later. thank heaven it is over though!
2 random tid-bits for the day...
A. i was doing a campus visit with a recruit this morning and whilst walking in the halls we ran into President Holland, UVU's president and son of Elder Holland. we started chatting with him and he introduced him to his friend, Henry Eyring, the son of President Eyring. sons of 2 apostles... pretty cool huh!
2. i'm trying to like spinach because apparently it is good for you. well, i've been putting it in my eggs and salads which with some dressing it isn't that bad. well tonight i made one of my delicious quesadilla salads with spinach and lettuce. it was actually really good and quite healthy. all i do is heat up a wheat tortilla in a pan, add a little bit of cheese, tonight i added chicken, and then when it's nice and crispy i dump on the lettuce and spinach and salsa! i eat it with a for first and then when the mountain of greens is gone, i either fill it up with more vegies or eat it like a taco. not too shabby right?!
well, it's been a pretty good day. run, recruit, lunch with my cuz and met her little baby Brixton, sunshine, work, biggest loser, temple, dinner, and now it's scripture and bed time... my life is so hard, right?! i just love summer!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
apology...
I AM SORRY...
the last post was supposed to be about the great conference talk, and i totally rambled, so my apologies! no pictures and all words does not equal the most entertaining blog... good thing it's not my purpose to entertain! but i'm sorry that these past few entries have been a bit long and in depth. welcome to the innermost thoughts and emotions of lacee! i consider this my journal, so i'm sorry if it gets too much! thanks for putting up with me!
thanks for being so wonderful :)
the last post was supposed to be about the great conference talk, and i totally rambled, so my apologies! no pictures and all words does not equal the most entertaining blog... good thing it's not my purpose to entertain! but i'm sorry that these past few entries have been a bit long and in depth. welcome to the innermost thoughts and emotions of lacee! i consider this my journal, so i'm sorry if it gets too much! thanks for putting up with me!
thanks for being so wonderful :)
new favorite talk...
so i haven't been the happiest of campers this week. i've kind of been on an emotional roller coaster. i know it's kind of typical of me, but it's been a bit worse these past few days. there are times that i just lose hope and perspective. it's been a constant battle for me lately to really know that Heavenly Father loves and cares for me. i've lost trust in His plan and feel that things in my life will never change. i haven't felt like i'm worth it, to have Heavenly Father bless me or that i'm not worthy of the atonement... and just when i'd have a glimmer of hope, i'd shut myself down with my self sabotaging habits of negative self talk, feeling abandoned and alone because i close myself off from everyone, and trying to fill the void with chocolate chips, sudoku, tv, and whatever else i can get my hands on.
yes, the past few days have been rough and i thought it was only because i've lost my best friend which is totally not fun. but really the roughness is all about the choices i'm making and my testimony. don't worry, i know the church is true and such an incredible strength to me and truly gives me direction in my life (even though i feel like i'm just wandering at times). and i'm not doing drugs or going off the deep end in anyway so no worries there either. but apparently my testimony and relationship with my Father in Heaven and Savior is a little shaky right now. i know it's pretty pathetic considering They are IT... the reason and foundation for everything!
i just have these feelings of inadequacy that i'm just not worthy or good enough. like, i'm not doing this right or reading my scriptures enough or motivated to prepare my lesson or just doing the same stupid things over and over again, so why would Heavenly Father want to give me blessings when i'm not worthy or holding up my end of the bargain. i keep making the same mistakes and nothing is changing in my life, so i'm not worthy of the atonement and can't give my burdens and mistakes to my Savior because it's just going to keep happening... and so on and so forth. it is definitely a slippery slop for me, until i have these great AHA moments (or as Gru would say in Despicable Me... lightbulb!)
what makes the atonement and the love of God so real, eternal, incredible, incomprehensible, awesome, mind-boggling, complex yet simple, everlasting, overwhelming, amazing, miraculous, remarkable, and simply wonderful... is that it is for everyone, ALL-encompassing, ALL-powerful. my Father in Heaven loves me no matter what, more than i will ever know. He knows what's going on in my life and trusts me to make decisions and needs me to trust in Him and know that everything will work out and yes, things will change. i don't have to be worthy of His love, it is a given. He wants to bless me, yes, i do need to make good choices and do my part, but because of the infinite atonement of Christ, He will make up what i lack. Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. He loved me and you enough to suffer, bleed, and die for me. no matter how many times i screw up, no matter my heartache, no matter the lengths and up and downs of my emotional roller coasters, He is ready and willing to take it all from me if i will just give it up. i truly do, stand all amazed.
i guess my most important relationships are on the mend, thankfully. i guess i'm one of those "compelled to be humble" people, it seems like i have to hit the bottom before i give up my pride and get satan out of my head to make my way back to the strait and narrow. so next time i start spiraling down, please kick me in the butt and tell me to get it together and keep myself busy!
ANYWAYS, i listened to this conference talk this morning and it just hit home.
More Than Conquerors from Him That Loved Us
by Paul V. Johnson
I would throw out a bunch of quotes, but seriously, it is all so good! Enjoy!
yes, the past few days have been rough and i thought it was only because i've lost my best friend which is totally not fun. but really the roughness is all about the choices i'm making and my testimony. don't worry, i know the church is true and such an incredible strength to me and truly gives me direction in my life (even though i feel like i'm just wandering at times). and i'm not doing drugs or going off the deep end in anyway so no worries there either. but apparently my testimony and relationship with my Father in Heaven and Savior is a little shaky right now. i know it's pretty pathetic considering They are IT... the reason and foundation for everything!
i just have these feelings of inadequacy that i'm just not worthy or good enough. like, i'm not doing this right or reading my scriptures enough or motivated to prepare my lesson or just doing the same stupid things over and over again, so why would Heavenly Father want to give me blessings when i'm not worthy or holding up my end of the bargain. i keep making the same mistakes and nothing is changing in my life, so i'm not worthy of the atonement and can't give my burdens and mistakes to my Savior because it's just going to keep happening... and so on and so forth. it is definitely a slippery slop for me, until i have these great AHA moments (or as Gru would say in Despicable Me... lightbulb!)
what makes the atonement and the love of God so real, eternal, incredible, incomprehensible, awesome, mind-boggling, complex yet simple, everlasting, overwhelming, amazing, miraculous, remarkable, and simply wonderful... is that it is for everyone, ALL-encompassing, ALL-powerful. my Father in Heaven loves me no matter what, more than i will ever know. He knows what's going on in my life and trusts me to make decisions and needs me to trust in Him and know that everything will work out and yes, things will change. i don't have to be worthy of His love, it is a given. He wants to bless me, yes, i do need to make good choices and do my part, but because of the infinite atonement of Christ, He will make up what i lack. Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. He loved me and you enough to suffer, bleed, and die for me. no matter how many times i screw up, no matter my heartache, no matter the lengths and up and downs of my emotional roller coasters, He is ready and willing to take it all from me if i will just give it up. i truly do, stand all amazed.
i guess my most important relationships are on the mend, thankfully. i guess i'm one of those "compelled to be humble" people, it seems like i have to hit the bottom before i give up my pride and get satan out of my head to make my way back to the strait and narrow. so next time i start spiraling down, please kick me in the butt and tell me to get it together and keep myself busy!
ANYWAYS, i listened to this conference talk this morning and it just hit home.
More Than Conquerors from Him That Loved Us
by Paul V. Johnson
I would throw out a bunch of quotes, but seriously, it is all so good! Enjoy!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
note to self...
A. don't overestimate your running capabilities and start you half marathon training with an 8 mile run... it was really rough this morning!
2. always have a banana and water near by when attempting a "long run"
D. update your run mix!
7. remember the INCREDIBLE feeling when you finally finish a good run!
- i'm trying to get back into running shape again and there's no better way then training for a half marathon, right?! i just feel so blessed that my body is getting back to normal post-injuries... or that i just have really good pain tolerance and stock of Tylenol!
2. always have a banana and water near by when attempting a "long run"
D. update your run mix!
7. remember the INCREDIBLE feeling when you finally finish a good run!
- i'm trying to get back into running shape again and there's no better way then training for a half marathon, right?! i just feel so blessed that my body is getting back to normal post-injuries... or that i just have really good pain tolerance and stock of Tylenol!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
growing up...
i always thought growing up was just getting a job, working all of the time, paying the bills, doing your own laundry, cleaning up after yourself, waking up to the alarm, getting yourself ready, being independent and of course doing what you want whenever you want, right?! and eventually having a family and taking care of the husband and children. that's what being an adult is right?!
well i have enjoyed adulthood, for the most part, and have always looked forward to the husband and family part... and yes, i'm still looking forward to it, and know that someday it'll happen. i guess i just thought the whole finding a husband and getting married wouldn't be so hard. i mean the whole finding a guy part is taking me awhile and it's not fun being alone, but it's like i'd rather be feeling that frustration then the emptiness i'm feeling right now. i didn't realize that growing up not only comes with responsibilty but many complex emotions and experiences.
let me explain... i have been dating mr. daniel jones on and off for the past three years, and in the past few months i've felt more emotions than i ever thought possible. i'm already an emotional person, so let's throw love and heartache in the mix, right?! well, after getting back together in january and then breaking up in february, we haven't really been separated all that much. like we don't hang out or talk ALL of the time, but we do spend time together and like to show affection for each other every once in awhile ;) anyways, long story short, i got the answer and just feel that it's not right and that he's not my forever. now you'd think that with this feeling that i'd be able to move on, apparently that is a lot easier said then done. yes, daniel is just that amazing that it's been a struggle letting him go even though i know it will be ok if i do. (i hope this is making sense!)
i guess i always thought that when a man came into my life who is strong in the gospel, handsome, fun, smart, sweet, sincere, caring, adventurous, loving, handy, who communicates well and always knows what to say, gets along with everyone, who appreciates who i am, who calls me beautiful in my sweats and without any make-up on, who calls just to hear my voice, who sends me tulips and leaves me sweet notes, who loves volleyball as much as i do, who loves my family, who wants to know what i'm thinking and just spend time with me, who strives to be a worthy priesthood holder, who makes me want to be better, kisses my forehead and loves to cuddle, who tells me they love me and that they want to marry me... i thought that when i met a man with all of this amazingness that he would be the one, ya know. i thought there is only one man out there who could put up with me enough to ever treat me like that, but i'm hoping, praying, and trusting that i will be blessed with another "one" in my life.
it has definitely been an emotional roller coaster during this whole process with daniel, but after our talk last night i think we both are ready to move on. we know it's going to be difficult and weird, but it's time ya know, we're not progressing. i feel at peace with it most of the time, but i do miss him and have those doubts and wonder if i'll ever meet a man as incredible as daniel. he is truly one of a kind and has taught me so much about life, relationships, love, and has opened my eyes to so many things especially with myself. i will always love him and just hope and pray for the best for him.
long saga about crazy adulthood huh?! but yes, i guess it wouldn't be "growing" up without a little stretching and growing pains.
i hope this made sense! it's hard to put my feelings into words, so i apologize if its all jumbled and weird!
much loves...
adult lacee :)
well i have enjoyed adulthood, for the most part, and have always looked forward to the husband and family part... and yes, i'm still looking forward to it, and know that someday it'll happen. i guess i just thought the whole finding a husband and getting married wouldn't be so hard. i mean the whole finding a guy part is taking me awhile and it's not fun being alone, but it's like i'd rather be feeling that frustration then the emptiness i'm feeling right now. i didn't realize that growing up not only comes with responsibilty but many complex emotions and experiences.
let me explain... i have been dating mr. daniel jones on and off for the past three years, and in the past few months i've felt more emotions than i ever thought possible. i'm already an emotional person, so let's throw love and heartache in the mix, right?! well, after getting back together in january and then breaking up in february, we haven't really been separated all that much. like we don't hang out or talk ALL of the time, but we do spend time together and like to show affection for each other every once in awhile ;) anyways, long story short, i got the answer and just feel that it's not right and that he's not my forever. now you'd think that with this feeling that i'd be able to move on, apparently that is a lot easier said then done. yes, daniel is just that amazing that it's been a struggle letting him go even though i know it will be ok if i do. (i hope this is making sense!)
i guess i always thought that when a man came into my life who is strong in the gospel, handsome, fun, smart, sweet, sincere, caring, adventurous, loving, handy, who communicates well and always knows what to say, gets along with everyone, who appreciates who i am, who calls me beautiful in my sweats and without any make-up on, who calls just to hear my voice, who sends me tulips and leaves me sweet notes, who loves volleyball as much as i do, who loves my family, who wants to know what i'm thinking and just spend time with me, who strives to be a worthy priesthood holder, who makes me want to be better, kisses my forehead and loves to cuddle, who tells me they love me and that they want to marry me... i thought that when i met a man with all of this amazingness that he would be the one, ya know. i thought there is only one man out there who could put up with me enough to ever treat me like that, but i'm hoping, praying, and trusting that i will be blessed with another "one" in my life.
it has definitely been an emotional roller coaster during this whole process with daniel, but after our talk last night i think we both are ready to move on. we know it's going to be difficult and weird, but it's time ya know, we're not progressing. i feel at peace with it most of the time, but i do miss him and have those doubts and wonder if i'll ever meet a man as incredible as daniel. he is truly one of a kind and has taught me so much about life, relationships, love, and has opened my eyes to so many things especially with myself. i will always love him and just hope and pray for the best for him.
long saga about crazy adulthood huh?! but yes, i guess it wouldn't be "growing" up without a little stretching and growing pains.
i hope this made sense! it's hard to put my feelings into words, so i apologize if its all jumbled and weird!
much loves...
adult lacee :)
Friday, April 22, 2011
h two o...
meet my new bff... yes my grandiose water bottle. i'm trying to make simple and small changes in my physical, spiritual, mental, social and professional well-being, so i decided i needed to drink more... and i mean water not alcohol :)
the goal is to drink two of these suckers a day... that's four liters all together! it's only day two and my bladder is feeling it! this is just the first of many small and simple changes i want to make. so fill 'er up!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
me and running...
goal of the week...
reunite with my love for running! my relationship with running has been lacking lately, so i'm ready for some bonding time!
reunite with my love for running! my relationship with running has been lacking lately, so i'm ready for some bonding time!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
work it out...
5:15 am- spin class
6:00 am- power pump class
7:00 pm- pump class with Kara
eat it up...
5:00 am- wheat biscut (i woke up hungry!)
8:00 am- protein drink
10:00 am- apple and wheat biscuit
12:00 pm- strawberry nirvana smoothie
2:00 pm- turkey/ham and carrots and cottage cheese
6:00 pm- lettuce w/chicken, corn, and cheese and cup of cereal wmilk
8:30 pm- post workout protein drink
10:30 pm- i ate some cookie dough... *story to follow!
soak it in...
i love institute! we talked about the saints in Kirtland and the awesomeness of Elder Hales! love that man!
old roommates unite...
tonight i got to spend time with two of my former roommates! gini and her fiance, eric, stopped by to hang out for a bit. it was so fun catching up with her and hearing about her preparations for the big day! i'm so excited for her and eric! they are the cutest and oh, so fun!
my dearest albanian roommate, Florida, asked me to help her make a giant cookie for one of her "guy friends" for st. patrick's day. so she came over and it was a great team efffort! i made the cookie and she decorated it with green M&Ms. it was great to catch up with her and hear all about her guy drama. poor girl needs to find a good man! she stayed and talked til like 11 and it was just fun! i miss her!
it was so random to have both of them there, but such an awesome way to spend my evening. and yes, i did eat some cookie dough, but i didn't eat as much as i would have usually... so instead of eating like a dozen cookies worth (literally), i only had like 2 cookies worth. small victory, right?!
such a fun night, and i still need to catch up with the biggest loser!! love that show!
off to bed!
5:15 am- spin class
6:00 am- power pump class
7:00 pm- pump class with Kara
eat it up...
5:00 am- wheat biscut (i woke up hungry!)
8:00 am- protein drink
10:00 am- apple and wheat biscuit
12:00 pm- strawberry nirvana smoothie
2:00 pm- turkey/ham and carrots and cottage cheese
6:00 pm- lettuce w/chicken, corn, and cheese and cup of cereal wmilk
8:30 pm- post workout protein drink
10:30 pm- i ate some cookie dough... *story to follow!
soak it in...
i love institute! we talked about the saints in Kirtland and the awesomeness of Elder Hales! love that man!
old roommates unite...
tonight i got to spend time with two of my former roommates! gini and her fiance, eric, stopped by to hang out for a bit. it was so fun catching up with her and hearing about her preparations for the big day! i'm so excited for her and eric! they are the cutest and oh, so fun!
my dearest albanian roommate, Florida, asked me to help her make a giant cookie for one of her "guy friends" for st. patrick's day. so she came over and it was a great team efffort! i made the cookie and she decorated it with green M&Ms. it was great to catch up with her and hear all about her guy drama. poor girl needs to find a good man! she stayed and talked til like 11 and it was just fun! i miss her!
it was so random to have both of them there, but such an awesome way to spend my evening. and yes, i did eat some cookie dough, but i didn't eat as much as i would have usually... so instead of eating like a dozen cookies worth (literally), i only had like 2 cookies worth. small victory, right?!
such a fun night, and i still need to catch up with the biggest loser!! love that show!
off to bed!
Monday, March 14, 2011
March 14, 2011... Monday
day light savings and off to a great start...
work-out...
20 minute biking- about 4 miles
1 hour power pump- oh how i love Kara and her lunges!
45 minute spin class
1 hour kickboxing- first time back since surgery and it rocked my world!
food...
5:45 am- apple
8:00 am- protein shake and banana
9:15 am- banana muffin
12:15 pm... 4 slices turkey/ham (1 serving) on 1 and 1/2 whole wheat biscuit and carrots
3:00 pm... diet dr pepper- my guilty pleasure :)
5:15 pm... tortilla soup and saltine crackers
8:15 pm... protein drink
day time...
i had the pleasure of "baby-sitting" Scottie's volleyball classes in the morning, so i had some extra time to do some blog stalking.
new favorite blog... http://www.munchercruncher.blogspot.com/ ... absolutely LOVE it!!
awesome new recipe... Banana Crumb Muffins
- Lauren let me try one of these muffins she made, and it was pure deliciousness! i will be using this instead of my other fatty and yummy banana bread recipe. i'm excited to test them out for myself. the ingredients seem pretty standard, so i'll let ya know how they turn out.
biggest SMILE-maker... Double Dream Hands
it's the week of spring break, so no practice which means more chillaxin and preparing for denver on thursday. i'm so grateful that i had some extra time to spend at the gym and some motivation. i'd like to start taking apart my chain and drop some lbs!
great day, and now it's time for bed!
muah xoxo
work-out...
20 minute biking- about 4 miles
1 hour power pump- oh how i love Kara and her lunges!
45 minute spin class
1 hour kickboxing- first time back since surgery and it rocked my world!
food...
5:45 am- apple
8:00 am- protein shake and banana
9:15 am- banana muffin
12:15 pm... 4 slices turkey/ham (1 serving) on 1 and 1/2 whole wheat biscuit and carrots
3:00 pm... diet dr pepper- my guilty pleasure :)
5:15 pm... tortilla soup and saltine crackers
8:15 pm... protein drink
day time...
i had the pleasure of "baby-sitting" Scottie's volleyball classes in the morning, so i had some extra time to do some blog stalking.
new favorite blog... http://www.munchercruncher.blogspot.com/ ... absolutely LOVE it!!
awesome new recipe... Banana Crumb Muffins
- Lauren let me try one of these muffins she made, and it was pure deliciousness! i will be using this instead of my other fatty and yummy banana bread recipe. i'm excited to test them out for myself. the ingredients seem pretty standard, so i'll let ya know how they turn out.
biggest SMILE-maker... Double Dream Hands
it's the week of spring break, so no practice which means more chillaxin and preparing for denver on thursday. i'm so grateful that i had some extra time to spend at the gym and some motivation. i'd like to start taking apart my chain and drop some lbs!
great day, and now it's time for bed!
muah xoxo
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
the chain...
change is in the air and summer is just around the corner... so it's time to bust out the big guns and get my booty in shape! to set off this great 25 pound weight loss plan, i made this sweet chain to help track my progress. any little thing to help motivate me and keep me going is much needed and appreciated.
so yeah, here we go again!! off to the gym :)
so yeah, here we go again!! off to the gym :)
Monday, February 14, 2011
In the Name of Love...
Happy Valentine’s Day! This day of love is a bit different for me this year. In every year past, I am just single and living life. February 14th would just come and go. I’d hear about friends’ fun dates and gifts for their significant others, whilst I would get to hang out with my other single friends. Not a bad day at all, I mean who doesn't love sharing their love for everyone? Well this year, my heart is not as “tough” as usual. Let’s just say I've had some recent experiences with love that have left me alone and missing someone special. The sad part isn't that I’m single or alone, I’m pretty used to that by now, but I can’t tell this person how much he means to
me or how much I love him, and that’s what hurts the most.BUT, since I can’t change the decision, I just have to keep working on moving forward… so on this special day of love, instead of me eating my weight in cookie dough and being the bitter, heartbroken girl, I am going to focus my energy on everything that I love today. This is my new coping strategy… let’s hope it works!
What I LOVE on this day of LOVE…
- not having to scrape my windshield in the morning
- the early sunrise on my way home from the gym
- being able to work out
- hot shower!
- my AWESOME team who “heart attacked” the offices
- answers to prayer, that little Kai boy’s surgery went well and he’s recovering well
- cute and unexpected text from friends
- sweet surprises from my bestie roomie
- love package from mother dearest
- surprise flowers
- being alive and well, and having the fullness of the gospel
... there's lots to love and lots of love to be had!
I hope you feel the love on this blessed day of love!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
it continues and begins...
a dear old man once said aka President Thomas S. Monson...
"when performance is measured, performance improves. when performance is measured and reported, the rate of improvement accelerates."
well my dearest friends, it's time for me to "meausre and report" my performance and be accountable for what i'm doing with my life. so thank you for your patience and long-suffering during this time of self discovery... yeah, apparently there is more that i need to discover about myself, and i thought i couldn't get any crazier!
the other quote that i have been thinking about lately is...
"if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten."
well, i haven't gotten anything different for the passed little while, therefore it is time to change it up!
"when performance is measured, performance improves. when performance is measured and reported, the rate of improvement accelerates."
well my dearest friends, it's time for me to "meausre and report" my performance and be accountable for what i'm doing with my life. so thank you for your patience and long-suffering during this time of self discovery... yeah, apparently there is more that i need to discover about myself, and i thought i couldn't get any crazier!
the other quote that i have been thinking about lately is...
"if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten."
well, i haven't gotten anything different for the passed little while, therefore it is time to change it up!
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