doubt not, fear not... day 14

sunday is a special day when we get to go to church and be uplifted by the spirit and then we get to come home and nap! what a great blessings!

"remember Lot's wife"...
the story of Lot was the theme of our sacrament meeting today. the basic story is that they were commanded to leave sodom and gomorrah due to the wickedness and destruction which was eminant, and the Lord counseled them to "look not behind thee". Lot's wife "looked back" and she turned into a pillar of salt. the question is why...

why did Lot's wife look back? maybe... she missed her home, or she longed for her married children that she left there, or she was unsure of the unknown and resented God for sending her away from her home. "her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future. apparently she thought that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as those moments she was leaving behind." so maybe, she lacked faith.

why did the Lord counsel them not to look back? that's like why does the Lord counsel us to do anything? because... He wants to test our faith and see how committed we really are. He has a plan and something better in store for us if we can just let go of the past.

"we can't long to go back to 'yesterdays'. "the past is to be learned from but not lived in. faith is always pointed toward the future. faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives."

"to yearn to go back to a world that cannont be lived in now; to be perennially dissatisfied with present circumstances and have only dismal views of the future; to miss the here-and-now-and-tomorrow because we are so trapped in the there-and-then-and-yesterday-- these are some of the sins, if we may call them that, of Lot's wife."

quotes from "remember Lot's wife" a talk given by Jeffrey R. Holland

why do we have this story and what can we learn from it? well, i know i've learned a lot from it. right now i feel like the epitome of Lot's wife. i'm walking in a direction and i have no clue where it is taking me. i constantly think how wonderful and carefree the "glory years" and college days were and i do sometimes long to be back there and not have to worry about where the future will lead me. i have received counsel and numberless blessings from the Lord, but struggle staying focused and motivated. so yes, i am lacking faith just like Lot's wife.

i'm scared to let go and fully give my will to God, even though i know that what He has in store for me will be better than i can even imagine. i am walking blindly, yet i know that the Lord's hand is always outstretched to me. there are times when i have a strong grasp on Him and i have enough light to see glimpses of what's ahead. and then there are those times of complete darkness that i either just sit in a stand still, unmotivated and flustered because i don't know where to go or what to do, or else i flail my arms in desperate search for something or someone to grasp onto, when in all actuality Christ is standing right there with his scarred hands outstretched waiting for me to take it. the real question is, when i find His hand, why do i ever let go?

so needless to say, i still don't know the exact direction of which i'm headed and i really don't know where i want to go. but instead of letting the unknown direct me in a path of frenzy, panic, and frustration, i am going to hold on tight to the Lord and truly give my will to Him. i guess if i don't even know what i want or where to go, i might as well let him lead me to where He wants me to go, no matter how long it takes.

fear and faith cannot coexist... please help me have faith!

*so that's me trying to explain the turmoil that i feel, so my apologies if it doesn't make sense!

february...
new week and a new month... thank goodness cause i need to recommit!

food food food...
12:30pm-turkey salad w/balsamic vinegarette and wheat thins
1:00pm- cookie dough
5:00pm- cookies cookies cookies and crystal light
6:00pm- turkey lettuce wraps w/mustard, wheat thins
8:45pm- cinnamon life cereal w/milk
h20- 9 cups

highlight of the day...
i got to talk to my amazing sister and favorite niece on skype today. and precious mylee read me a story! it's incredible how fast kids grow up and how smart she is! it seriously made my day!

song of the week...
miley cyrus "when i look at you"

single digits... 9 days til the brother comes home!

i'm such a hypocrite... day 13

so i had this great plan to have a productive morning, but instead i woke up early and just lounged around the house. it was quite lazy of me, but i'm glad that everything worked out and i was able to get everything done that i needed to, i think i did atleast.

work-out...
all cardio- 20 minute warm up and 60 minute run... total of about 9 miles

food intake... way too much!
9:00am- 2 cups cinnamon life cereal
10:30am- hand full of chocolate chips (i needed a sugar boost)
2:15pm- celery and life sobe
4:30 pm- chicken stirfry and lettuce and vanilla yogurt
8:00pm- cookies and cream frozen yogurt
9:30pm- popcorn and more frozen yogurt!
h20- 8 cups

"you can have a rock"...
while i was talking to my mom today, i told her that chelsey garfield got engaged and that i absolutely love and want her ring, except i don't want/need the solitare diamond. so it would just be thin bands of diamonds intertwined. and my wonderful mother was like, "lacee, you can have a rock", basically giving me permission to ask for a sweet rock, if money permits of course. i love my mom, and the great/funny things she tells me.

when in rome...
i got to go see "when in rome" today with dani and kat! such a cute movie! kristen bell and josh duhamel are so cute together, and he is so attractive! yes i know it's just another typical chick-flick, but what can i say, i'm a hopeless romantic. and i loved seeing all the places i've been to in rome!

night at the museum...
so allen came over this evening, and let me tell you first off, that he was late! the nerve, right?! wrong... my phone wasn't receiving texts or calls, so the poor guy was wandering around in the cold looking for my apartment for like a half hour. when i finally found him, i felt so terrible. he was so cold, but i gotta tell ya, i was very surprised by the fact that he didn't give up. allen plus 5, lacee negative 10! after that the night was pretty enjoyable. we watched night at the museum 2 and talked and laughed all throughout it. yes, there was some minor cuddling, but that's pretty typical for movie watching. but it was an enjoyable night, and it's good getting to know him, and i'm still unsure about the interest level on both sides. i can't help but think about my long lost summer romance, and just how incredible he made me feel and how easy it was. but i guess that takes time right?! ha i suck at relationships, hence i don't have any... story of my life!

jacob chelsey davies reuben koelliker arrives in the usa in 10 days!

righteous reflexes... day 12

blessed friday! i know i'm pathetic when i wake up and i'm already looking forward to a mellow friday night at home! i love to just chill, and chillin is what i did this evening. put me in front of a chick flick and give me some markers and construction paper, and life is bliss!

work-out...
2o minute warm-up run and 6am kickboxing with kara... love it!
*bonus- 40 mintue jog

i heart food...
5:30am- apple
9:00am- cinnamon life w/milk and a banana
11:00am- apple
1:30pm- chicken salad w/balsamic vinegarette and 2 pieces of wheat bread from kneaders (lunch with kari and jess!)
6:00pm- small chicken salad... bowl of life cereal w/milk
8:00pm- peanut butter and chocolate chips... a yummy treat... and some cookie, i gave into another yummy treat!
h20-14 cups

righteous reflexes/i need to stop being a bad person...
brother norby brought up the phrase "righteous reflexes" the other day, and i've been thinking about it a lot lately. i've been noticing how i react to people and different situations, and i am a bad person! i get so impatient and frustrated so easily, and it is not good! examples... when the person in front of me is driving so slow, when one of my girls doesn't do what she's supposed to, basically when anything doesn't go my way, i always jump to some bratty conclusion instead of being kind and thinking of others as children of God. and yeah, after i think about whatever happend for awhile, i realize that i was in the wrong and didn't need to freak out, but it can definitely take me awhile before i figure it out! i'm so stubborn! i need to be better at reacting righteously and being Christlike and thinking positive and understanding thoughts, instead of swear words, right away. i think this will be an eternal goal for me, to practice "righteous reflexes", cause heaven knows it's going to take me forever to figure it out!

awesome officiating...
i had the opportunity to go to the timpanogos temple today. seriously, i am SO blessed to have so many temples around me. it's definitely one of the perks about living in utah. the officiator today was so good. he was this old man, like most of them are, but he would make facial expressions, raise his eyebrows, turn his head, basically doing everything but actually talking. he was so into his role, it was amazing! honestly, we were so intrigued by him, and it made the session come to life, so to speak. he took his job seriously, and i will always be grateful for that.

i love going to the temple. my love for the temple began with my parents. i can never tell them enough how grateful and just amazed i am at their dedication to the temple. i remember being in elementary school and my mom would go like every wednesday. and now whenever i call my parents on tuesday afternoons, they don't answer because they are doing their weekly session. so diligent and faithful, and i truly can't thank them enough for building the foundation of my love and testimony of the temple.

my personal testimony and faith in temple attendance was grew so much during my college years. friday mornings were my favorite part of the week cause i got to go do baptisms for the dead with my best friend. we would get up so early, even in the cold winter, and make our way to the timpanogos temple. not a temple trip goes by that i don't think of her and the "good ol' days" ;) i can honestly say that the reason we have such a special bond and strong friendship is because we've shared so many sacred experiences at the temple together, and because of that i know our friendship is eternal.

i was very blessed to graduate from baptisms for the dead and take out my own endowments right before i graduated college. i will never forget my first session... it was incredible and eye-opening! but to have the opportunity to be in the Celestial Room with my entire family was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. seriously, everytime i go to the temple, life is put into perspective and my worries seem to slip away. i'm so grateful for temples. and i can't wait for the day that i'll get to kneel across the alter and be sealed to one of God's chosen sons for time and all eternity, cause that's what this life is all about!

*sorry about the temple tangent, i couldn't help myself!

words of encouragement...
in my nightly reading, i stumbled upon this quote from Robert D. Hales about the spiritual strength that follows when we place our trust in the Lord...

"As we put our faith and trust in the Lord, we much battle our pain day by day and sometimes hour by hour, even moment by moment; but in the end, we understand that marvelous counsel given to Prophet Joseph Smith as he struggled with his pain of feeling forgotten and isolated in Liberty Jail:

'My son, peace be unto they sould; thinke adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment... And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes' (D&C 121:7-9)

My dear brothers and sisters, when pain, tests, and trials come in life, draw near to the Savior. 'Wait upon the Lord,... look for him' (2 Nephi 18:17). 'They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint' (Isaiah 40:31). Healing comes in the Lord's time and the Lord's way; be patient."

so many great scriptures and inspiring words. the last line is perfect for me right now... healing comes in the Lord's time and the Lord's way; be patient... story of my life :) yes, patience is a virtue i'll be working on for eternity! but i'm grateful for these encouraging words, and pray that i will stop worrying, and just trust.

"what took you so long?" -catch and release... the movie of the night, and it just seemed appropriate!

jake plus vegas equals 11 days... almost to single digits!

if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear... day 11

welcome to another thursday... i love thursdays cause, hello, tomorrow is friday! anyways, i've been doing pretty well (for my standards) with my sugar intake lately. i'm such a dessert kind of girl, and love baking and just anything that deals with sweetness. the only reason i haven't been inhaling goodies, is that i haven't baked anything or really brought dessert in my house. it is easy to refrain from dessert when there's no temptation... well i got to test myself today and made some cookie dough. and i'm sorry, but my cookie dough is dang good and is definitely one of my favorite treats. so needless to say, this was a great first test for me. yes, i did partake of the deliciousness, but it was significantly less than normal and it was good! one step at a time! sorry to share this little victory, but considering i only ate like a spoonful compared to my usual intake of half the batch (literally), i am pretty relieved!

preparedness...
you know how emergency preparedness is always a topic during conference?! i have always felt like such a bad person because i don't have an emergency kit. i try to have extra food and water around, but i don't have a 72 hour kit or anything... but that changed today! allyce found a place to buy 72 hour kits (i'm sure they are everywhere in utah, but i've never bothered looking) and she hand delivered me one. i have a sense of relief now that i'm somewhat prepared. if anything happens, i have allyce to thank!

work-out...
all cardio today... 70 minute run on the treadmill! i am tired, oh but it felt good! i'm grateful for days like this.

food is fuel...
9:00am- vanilla yogurt, banana, dry cinnamon life cereal
11:30am-12 saltine crackers, grapefruit
1:15pm- clementine, stir-fry, apple
6:30pm- egg sandwich, celery and fat-free ranch... and some cookie dough :)
8:15pm- sugar-free chocolate milk
h20- 13 cup

hope, peace, faith, and assurance...
we're still studying the war chapters in institute, and learning how to apply it to real life. whilst reading Alma 58:1-12 we discussed how the Lord answered the prayers of the Nephites in such a simple way of granting them peace and assurance. i love this quote from Elder Gene R. Cook and how he explains how God grants hope, peace, and assurances of deliverance to the righteous...

"It maybe that the Nephites hoped for a miracle. Maybe they wanted angels to come to deliver them, as had happened a time or two in the Old Testament. But what did they receive? The Lord gave them assurance, peace, faith, and hope. He didn't directly destroy their enemies, but he did give them the girfts they needed so they could deliver themselves...

"In other words, the Lord put inside these men the will and the power to do what they desired--to begin with a strong resolve and then to see it through. After their prayer was answered, the Nephites went on to secure their liberty.

"When the Lord instills hope and faith and peace and assurance in people, they can bring great things to pass. This, then, is often what we should look for when we ask for help--not a miracle to solve our problem for us, but a miracle inside to help us come to the solution ourselves, with the Lord's help and the Lord's power."

amazing quote right! it totally puts things into perspective. like i pray for "miracles" so to speak, all the time, and Heavenly Father blesses me in ways that i don't even recognize. on my phone i have the quote, "every day holds the possibility of a miracle" and ya know, He truly does bless us with miracles each day whether we see it or not.

this is it...
haha, i totally watched the michael jackson movie "this is it" tonight with jess. give me some glitter pants and amicrophone, i'm ready to take on the king of pop! :) i actually really enjoyed it, amazingly enough.

"if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change"

12 days til the reuniting of my little missionary...

no sacrifice, no victory... day 10

haha... of course the day i come in at 10am, way later than usual, i run into sam in the athletic office! busted :) good thing he's still "taking time off" or else i could have gotten in trouble! nothing like a visit from sam these days to keep me on my toes.

work-out...
kickboxing with dani! it was lots of fun, but holy leg work out with some abs too... plus 35 minutes on the elipitcal
*bonus- 35 minute morning run... 200 lunges, with other legs and abs... i was feeling it this morning!
*double bonus- i got to practice with the girls! i heart volleyball!

food for the tummy...
7:00am- apple
9:30am- sugar-free vanilla steamer
10:30am- oatmeal and banana
12:00pm- apple
1:00pm- turkey sandwich w/lettuce and mustard, clementine
5:30pm- leftover stir-fry w/lettuce, celery and fat-free ranch, piece of bread
6:30pm- cinnamon life cereal w/milk... and some more just dry cereal (i had the munchies before kickboxing)
h 2 the o- 14 cups

raise the bar...
sometimes while i'm doing cardio i'll listen to "stories from general conference". it's these podcasts from lds.org and there are certain topics with a bunch of the stories told at past conferences. today i was listening to "perseverance" (shocker, huh?!) and there was a story shared by L. Tom Perry about his son preparing to compete as a high jumper. long story short, we just can't go through life jumping over a low bar just because we don't want to miss.

"If you don't raise the bar, how will you ever know your potential? Keep raising the bar to become the best."

a lot of the stories talked about how we have to leave our comfort zones and push ourselves to see just how far we can go. so not only is that the theme for missionaries today, but i definitely need to apply it to my life, and raise the bar, and see just how high i can jump.

no sacrifice, no victory...
yes for the movie gurus, this is from transformers... love that movie! someone had this quote as a sticker on their car today, and i found it rather motivating. in order to have a victory, you have to earn it and make the necessary sacrifices to get it... pretty self explanitory and easier said than done, but i'm a fan. and, i love pulling random quotes out of movies that can actually apply to life. it helps me feel that watching movies isn's such a waste of time :)

truth or dare...
well my sister malia, i took your dare and asked mr. law school to watch night at the museum 2 with me... and guess what he said... "yeah, let's do it. does saturday night work for you?" thanks for the encouragement sister, i wouldn't have been so bold without you! ha, i've already put "raising the bar" and "no sacrifice, no victory" into action! looks like my work here is done! but seriously, thanks for the little push.

"some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns. i am thankful that thorns have roses."

13 days til little brother is home!

i just wanted a hug... day 9

i'm starting today with sharing an experience i had last night. it's nothing huge or life-altering, but i was definitely in awe (as always) of Heavenly Father's power and love that He has for me, and that through small and simple things, He answers prayers.

i was feeling kind of down as i was getting ready for bed, with those feelings of frustration that i was going to slide back to my bad, hopeless habits. and i was just questioning if i can truly overcome some of my challenges and if my life will ever change for the better. so i got on my knees and started to pray, and i thought, 'lace, this is your Father in Heaven, really talk to Him'. and as i thought that and really started to confide in him, i had the most overwhelming feeling of peace and hope come over me. it was so incredible, i couldn't help but smile whilst i was praying. like my whole demeanor and feelings about my night had completely changed and i felt excited and full of hope for my life and the mission Heavenly Father has in store for me. it was the most instantaneous change of heart i've ever had and i am so grateful for Heavenly Father's direct answer to my prayer. but it doesn't end there... so i get up and it was one those events that i had to document right away. when i finished in my journal, i went to get in bed, and i had a very unexpected text message from allen, my semi-blind date. it was totally random, and nothing will come of it, but again, it was just a way for Heavenly Father to show me that He's watching out for me. i am so blessed and so grateful for prayer and the love that He has for me. it was just an incredible and unexpected end to my not-as-good-as-i-wanted-it-to-be day.

work-out...
40 minutes on the eliptical w/20-20 sec "sprints"... 100 lunges... and the usual arms, butt, legs, and abs
*bonus- 35 minute run

food intake...
7:30am- sugar-free chocolate milk
9:15am- strawberry yogurt and bran flakes
11:30am-grapefruit
1:00pm- turkey sandwich and clementine
7:00pm- homemade orange chicken stir-fry and salad and sobe lifewater (zero-calorie deliciousness)
8:30pm- sugar-free chocolate pudding and a banana
h20- 10 cups
*no peanutbutter, thank you very much!

jillian's "feelings"...
i absolutely love biggest loser and jillian michaels. i think she is completely legit in everyway! so as i was catching up with the show, she was talking/yelling at one of the contestants about feelings and emotions, and what she said was just awesome! so of course i wanted to share...

"Tears don't make you weak. They're a sign of strength. Feelings exist for a reason. They tell you when things are out of balance, when you're going in the wrong direction. They're a compass. They're meant to be felt and expressed and moved through so you can grow. If you don't this is what happens to you."

it just validates that emotions and feelings are normal, and are meant to be shared, which i'm not the best at. it gave me some encouragement knowing that i'm not the only one who bottles up my feelings, but that for my own health and wellness, i need to communicate and let them out. while i'm still learning to share my emotions with others in person, writing this blog has helped me open up a ton (i know, i'm a dork), and i'm very grateful for it and the support i continually receive!

preparing for battle...
today in institute we were going over the great "war" chapters in Alma. brother norby always likes to "liken the scriptures" to us, so we went through a bunch of different passages and applied them to our lives. i know i've had this lesson so many times, but this time i actually wrote down the principles and how they apply and i gotta say, Mormon knew what he was doing when he put all these chapters in his great book.

there are so many scriptures that we went over, but i just wanted to share an example from Alma 49:3-5... it talks about the Nephites having to rebuild their cities that were destroyed by the Lamanites and how when the Lamanites tried to get in again, they couldn't because of everything the Nephites had done to fortify and strengthen it. this over course means, we need to build ourselves up and have the right armor and protection on, but brother norby took it a step further... these scriptures explain how the Lamanites tried every possible way to get in, but because of the structure and wisdom of the Nephites, the only way in was through the front door which of course was heavily protected... meaning, we are in control of what we let into our homes, what's on tv, the computer, what the spirit is, etc.

so yes, i know this is so simple and i'm sure you already know and understand the application of these great scriptures, but for me being the simple-minded, i'm grateful for brother norby taking it down a notch for me and explaining it in "lacee-terms".

a brilliant recommendation...
i was chatting with maegs today and she was sharing her great joy of being sealed to her wonderful husband. it was so awesometo hear how her, already wonderful marriage, has been completely enhanced because of the great sealing power. and of course she recommended that i get married in the temple someday... i'm just waiting for that someday :) but it reminded me of an incredible quote i read today from Elder Holland's talk "Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments"...

"The Prophet Joseph Smith once said we perhaps ought to render such a sacred bond as 'welding'--that those united in matrimony and eternal families are 'welded' together, inseparable if you will, to withstand the temptations of the adversary and the afflictions of mortality. But such a total, virtually unbreakable union, such an unyielding commitment between a man and a woman, can only come with the proximity and permanence afforded in a marriage convenant, with the union of all that they possess--their very hearts and minds, all their days and all their dreams. They work together, they cry together, they enjoy Brahms and Beethoven and breakfast together, they sacrifice and save and live together for all the abundance that such a totally intimate life provides such a couple. And the external symbol of that union, the physical manifestation of what is far deeper spiritual and metaphysical bonding, is the physical blending that is part of--indeed, a most beautiful and gratifying expression of--that larger, more complete union of eternal purpose and promise."

i'm definitely excited and looking forward to marriage for many reasons, but i know i definitely have long way in order to be fully prepared... i gotta get my "ducks in a row", right mom?!

orange chicken stir-fry sauce recipe...
i tried this recipe from the food network, but i think next time i'll alter it a bit cause i want it thicker and more orangey flavored.
1 3/4 cup chicken stock
2 tbs soy sauce
2 tbs corn starch
1/2 cup orange marmalade
*so next time i'm going to use a little less chicken stock, more corn starch, and more orange marmalade! pour it over some chicken and vegetables and you're good to go!

the future is waiting to be seized, and if we do not grasp it firmly, then other hands, more determined and bloody than our own, will wrench it from us and follow a different course.

2 weeks aka 14 days aka jake is home aka "i just wanted a hug"

peanut butter is my friendly enemy... day 8

question... is it bad that i went to bed last night already thinking about the 2 shows that i get to watch today?! haha... i'm such a bad person, but i'm excited to watch the bachelor and 24! at least it gets me through the day, right?!

work-out...
1 mile warm-up (less than 8 minutes!)... monday morning power pump class with kara... 35 minute run (4 miles!)... 200 lunges
i'm so grateful for kara's motivation and the energy i was blessed with to get a run in after the class! good work out day!

fish are friends, not FOOD...
5:30am- apple
9:30am- banana cream yogurt w/bran cereal
12:00pm- grapefruit
1:15pm- my last bowl of homemade chicken noodle soup and a clementine
5:30pm- apple
6:00pm- pb toast (way too much), celery w/pb, lettuce and turkey salad
7:00pm- sugar-free chocolate pudding
h20-12 cups

*so i think i let myself get too hungry when i got home, and i was bummed that i didn't have everything to make a delicious meal, and i was tired... yeah, i have way too many excuses that are all irrelevant and shouldn't matter... but i feel that i took a step back today cause i seriously ate so much peanut butter and bread (like 3 pieces of bread and spoonfuls of pb). so i feel pretty crappy about myself right now, BUT instead of focusing on my minor mishap and i need to recognize my small accomplishments... the improved lacee doesn't dwell and let herself stay down, there's too much to look forward to... there's always hope!

grocery store triumph...
i'm sure you've heard the advice to never go grocery shopping hungry, well today against my better judgement, i went to walmart after work and i was hungry! not good! you know all the fun goodies by the check out stand?! well i'm sure that all that yumminess is put there for me, and usually i would treat myself to something, but today, i refrained! i only bought what was on the list! amazing, i know! something others wouldn't even think about, but for the "up and coming" me, it was a small victory!

grocery store failure...
i had every intention to try a new orange chicken recipe tonight, and had everything on the list with hopes that i already had soy sauce at home. i got home and was making sure i had the indredients, but of course i forgot to get corn starch, which was on the list, and i thought wrong and had no soy sauce at home. therefore, i will give walmart another visit and cook tomorrow!

"they're popping out 0f the snow, like daisies"...
yes, another temple in utah was announced today! do i live in zion or what?! a temple is going to be built in payson, and just like any other, it is quite exciting! even though it's in the most mormon populated place, the work still goes forth. i love temples... how they look, what they stand for, the incredible and sacred things that take place in them, and the sincere peace and closeness i feel to Heavenly Father when i'm there. i'm grateful for temples!

i completely agree with and absolutely love this quote by President Monson,

"Temples answer those soul-searching questions of the purpose of life, of why we are here and where we are going. They are sanctuaries from the storms of life and bless the lives of members of the Church who worship within their sacred walls."

reflection...
even though i had a set back with my ravenous eating when i got home, i'm grateful for the little blessings of this evening like... watching the bachelor with lauren (i would totally rather be out dating a bachelor instead of just watching it... someday!), not eating after 7, talking to my mother dearest, writing this blog (seriously it's theraputic for me), being warm safe and comfortable in my apartment, chatting with maegan, getting laundry done, having hope in tomorrow.

"forget yourself and go to work"

"commitment in the face of conflict produces character"

15 days til we get to reunite with jake!

choose to be chosen... day 7

i decided to go with friends up to a sundance party at some club last night, and i was reassured about some things that i thought i already knew about myself...

a. i love to dance, but look pretty goofy when i do... we danced the night away which was awesome!
2. i love to people watch... seeing these people from all over the world come and all interact was sweet... they were basically all drunk too so that made the dance floor a riot!
d. i love to be out a about on a saturday night... it was a nice change being out in the world instead of chillin at home... don't get me wrong though, i love being at home!
7. i am not a late night girl... we didn't leave orem til almost 10pm and got in the club around midnight... we danced around and by 1:30 i was toast and ready to go, but jess and i didn't end up leaving til after 2... i don't like always being the party-pooper but i'm a fan of sleep! we got home around 4am, and gotta love 9:20am church :)
z. i am not the "clubbin" type... i absolutely loved dancing with friends and watching all the people, but the music was ridiculous (i've never heard the f word so many times) and i felt so uncomfortable with the alcohol and scandelous dancing all around me... i'd take dancing in the kitchen over a club anyday!

so it was an eventful night, i'll call it a once in a lifer, but this experience definitely made me so grateful for the life and perspective that i have. and we were so blessed to travel to and from park city safely on the icy roads and snowy weather. good driving by jess and blessed protection from above.

work-out...
ha, no sunday work out for me :)

food goodness...
9:00am- bran cereal w/skim milk, clementine
12:45pm- turkey and lettuce w/mustard, pbj sandwich
1:30pm- chocolate chips
7:00pm- chicken noodle soup, apple and peanut butter, clementine, chocolate chips
9:30pm- sugar-free hot chocolate and like 4 bites of ice cream!
h20-12 cups

3 hours of delight...
after a night like mine, a little more raucous than normal, i was excited to be uplifted at church... yes, even though i was a walking zombie due to my lack of sleep. but it was my own fault and i'm grateful for Heavenly Father's compassion on me to help me focus today. the talks and lessons were awesome. a girl who served her mission in mongolia spoke (automatic Celestial Kingdom for her!) and then our high councillor spoke. sunday school and relief society are where it's at though!

i love talking about the creation, the fall, and the atonement. it's the foundation of our religion, the focus of the temple, and why we are all here. it awesome to get into deeper doctrine too, like why Eve was the one who partook of the fruit first. a guy in class explained that only a woman could have done it because of their nurturing nature and it who they are to put others' needs before themselves, so she put her great lineage before herself and transgressed against a commandment to fulfill the higher law. being a woman is pretty amazing then, i guess! a lot of responsibility is placed on us as daughters of God and mothers of his sacred children... someday i'll get to know how the mothering part of life is :) but i love learning about our ancient heritage and to think about them as actual people, not just stories from the scriptures.

in relief society we talked about moral discipline... of couse a lesson that is perfectly in sync with what i'm working on in my life right now. she talked about how it's just like a athlete in training (a perfect analogy for me) and how gaining moral discipline takes strength, showing up, and desire. the lesson was based off of Todd D. Christofferson's talk from the October Conference, so i thought i'd put in some of my favorite quotes from it...

"By 'moral discipline,' I mean self-discipline based on moral standards. Moral discipline is the consistent exercise of agency to choose the right because it is right, even when it is hard. It rejects the self-absorbed life in facor of developing character worthy of respect and true greatness through Christlike service. The root of the word discipline is shared by the word disciple, suggesting to the mind the fact that conformite to the example and teachings of Jesus Christ is the ideal discipline that, coupled with His grace, forms a virtuous and morally excellent person."

"We must declare the essential need to keep the commanments of God and to walk uprightly before Him in soberness, or in other words, with reverence. Each must be peruaded that service and sacrifice for the well-being and happiness of others are far superior to making one's own comfort and possessions the highest priority."

"All of us experience temptations. So did the Savior, but He 'gave no heed unto them'. Similarly, we do not have to yield simply because a temptaion surfaces. We may want to, but we don't have to... 'Mere wanting is hardly a proper guide for moral conduct'."

"The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations."
-2 Peter 2:9

it's so reassuring to me that Heavenly Father knows everything about us, and that He blessed us with a Savior who knows exactly what we're feeling and how to succor us in every way. and i'm grateful for His mercy and the gift of the atonement, that i'm allowed to change and start anew whenever i screw up (which is all of the time). but it's that blessing of hope that can be a great motivation factor for me, just to keep going, have faith and trust in God and then, things will work out.

random insight...
so we all know the scripture, "many are called but few are chosen". i think it was sunday school a few weeks ago that the teacher brought up this scripture and added... choose to be chosen. isn't that so profound! yes, we are all part of the chosen generation and called of God, but it is our decision to be "chosen". agency is such an incredible gift yet somedays i wish someone else would make decisions for me!

week overview...
this being my first weekend as "new" me, i was definitely worried about how i would handle my eating habits. emotional and mindless eating is something that i've been struggling with for years, and it's part of this project to overcome it and not let food control me, so to speak. i've been blessed with strength and desire because this has been the most controlled weekend i've had for awhile. it's really been a small triumph for me, but the test will be to keep this desire and motivation. with the great support system that i've been blessed with, and with the constant help from above, i think i can keep it up... one day at a time!

my first of week of this great project has been truly inspired. it's seriously been better than i could have ever hoped for. i've been so blessed with great support and strength from my Father in Heaven, my incredible mother and sister, and others who God has used as His instruments to answer my prayers.

"...seeing that our merciful God has given us so great knowledge concerning these things, let us remember him, and lay aside our sins, and not hang down our heads, for we are not cast off..."
-2 Nephi 10:20

16 days til elder koelliker is back!

your future is in your hands... day 6

so i woke up in the middle of the night (i thought it was like 3am) and had to go potty, and as i'm stumbling back in the dark from the bathroom, with my eyes half open, i glanced at the clock and its 7am! i was completely out of it and still exhausted, and thought to myself "how do i wake up this early and earlier every other day?" and "haha... i'm going back to sleep!" yay for sleeping in til 9!

work-out...
hour run-6.5 miles with some legs, arms, abs, and butt... blessed saturday work-outs! it's always a blessing when i'm able to do more than i was expecting to do, seriously, it's a tender mercy!

yummy food...
9:00am- apple
12:45pm- applebee's half bbq chicken salad
3:00pm- peanutbutter and chocolate chips... it's a sugar day!
8:30 pm- chicken noodle soup, clementine, chocolate chips
h20- 12 cups

semi-blind date...
maegan introduced me to one of her husband's friends a few weeks ago, and he called this week and wanted to meet for lunch today. he's tall, cute, athletic, in byu law school, so of course i said yes! i had a good time at lunch. we talked about so many random things and began to get to know each other. so yeah, we had a good time, but who knows if another "meet up" will happen in the future??

sisterly love...
i have the best sister ever! yes, malia, you are amazing! she's always encouraging and supporting me, and giving me the tools to do better! even though we're different ages, we always have a blast together doing so many of our girly and childish things (two words... backstreet boys)! she's always been patient with me and gives me great advice and counsel. when we were younger she would write scriptures on our bathroom mirror for me to look up that would put whatever i was going though into perspective. i'm so grateful we still share that great bond and will be sisters and the best of friends for eternity! anyways, she gave me a great scripture reference to use for motivation...

"And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul." 2 Nephi 4:27-28

i just love the questions of why?! like, why would i ever want to give Satan a place in my heart or let him in at all by succumbing to temptations. i know when those temptations come up (aka chocolate cake) it's hard to resist, and i give in and mess up all of the time (thank you for the gift and process of repentance), but i love putting it in that competitive format of our fight against satan. am i going to give in and let him win, so to speak. i shouldn't let anything "destroy my peace" or let satan fill my heart with anger and anguish... we're so better than that!! and really, trials and temptations are hard, and i struggle and screw up constantly, but i'm so grateful for these little pieces of hope and encouragement that put things in perspective. we can do it, but only with help from above!

"you cannot quit. there is too much invested in you!"

saturday night adventures...
the night is still young and my plans are up in the air. i'm headed to our men's basketball game right now, and then possible a sundance party up in park city... but only time/the weather will unlock the opportunites for this evening!

"journeys end with lovers meeting"... shakespeare
*i was watching "the holiday" and like this quote :)

jake-man returns... 17 days!

smile... day 5

i heart fridays! i mean really, who doesn't?! i got to start my day off with a butt-whooping from kara... she teaches a 6am kickboxing class on fridays that rocks my world everytime! work is always so much calmer on fridays and hello, its the weekend... and even better, i get a weekend off! blessed!

work-out...
6am turbo-kickboxing w/legs and butts with the band, 40 lunges, and butt/hamstrings on the ball
*bonus... i got a mile and a half run in before kickboxing and with some blessed energy a 30 minute jog after kickboxing... seriously, i have no idea where the strength came from! i'm tired, but love it!

food is delcious...
5:30am- half of an apple... it was mushy so i couldn't eat it all :(
9:30am- yogurt, banana, and clementine
11:30am-grapefruit
1:30pm- chicken noodle soup (left-overs for life!) and a clementine
7:00pm- eggs and toast, peanutbutter (too much) and apple, sugar-free chocolate milk
10:00pm- sugar-free hot chocolate
h2o- 6 bottles

simple tender mercy...
this actually happened last night whilst talking to mom on the phone, i was putting stuff away and a reached to the bottom of my backpack and pulled out the small bag of earrings that I've been looking for for like a month! haha... the simplest things make me so happy! just like, finding the last parking spot in the close lot this morning... so blessed!

guilty pleasure/in my dreams...
i love wedding shows, yes, any wedding show... proposals, dresses, cakes, receptions, anything that has to do with a wedding, i'll watch it! (malia and brothers can vouch for me cause they spent christmas break watching them with me!) also, i have 4 of my players getting married this summer! crazy, i know! but i just love weddings, all aspects of them and i'm such a sucker for a love story! anyways, wedding/marriage is all around me at the moment, and i gave in! ha don't worry, i'm where near marriage or even dating, but i decided to look at some wedding gowns online... and i found a few that i like! who knows if they'll even be carried or in style when i decide to tie the knot, but hey, a girl can dream, right?!
www.latterdaybride.com/bristol-details.php
www.latterdaybride.com/selvaggia-details.php
www.latterdaybride.com/asheville-details.php
www.latterdaybride.com/kaori-details.php

fun idea...
a girl at work had the coolest idea of night kite flying... you cover a kite with the liquid from glow-sticks and fly it at night. it sounded pretty sweet, ya know, one of those "utah" things to do!

"my soul delighteth"... (2 Nephi 11)
-visiting a new temple-being in the Celestial room-talking to my mom-hanging out with a friend- being warm whilst watching the world be blanketed in snow-hearing someone share their musical talents-a simple smile-a precious note from my favorite niece-the weekend-finding solace in the scriptures, prayer, temple-facebook/blog updates-the thought of jakey being home in 18 days-knowing how lucky i am to have such a special relationship with each member of my family-knowing that families are forever-watching a chick flick-the thought of sleeping in-the simple peace i feel knowing that i am a daughter of God and that he has a plan for me-the possibilities of tomorrow.

"CHEER up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves--to choose the way of everlasting death of the way of eternal life" 2 Nephi 10:23

"Spiritually Minded Is Life Eternal"... SMILE :)

18 days equals jake'n'bake!

define your "non-negotiables... day 4

hmm... i woke up this morning knowing that today was going to be rough, not the best feeling first thing in the morning! i was a kinda tired, even though i got to sleep in til 7. and i was already wanting to eat breakfast, which in my case isn't good because the earlier i start eating, the more i eat during the day. i was definitely nervous about how munchy i would be throughout today. it's normal for me to continuously snack in the office or just whenever i'm sitting and doing nothing. i've been really good this week, and don't want to revert back to bad habits. thankfully, it wasn't as bad as i was expecting. i did eat more than i have this week and worked out less, but its still nothing compared to my "old-self". so somewhat of a small victory, but i definitely have a long way to go!

institute inspiration...
i love brother norby's class! it is such a great way to start my morning! we are still in Alma 39-40, and one of the scriptures he focused on was 39:9...

"Now my son, I would that ye should repent and forsake your sins and go no more after the lusts of your eyes, but cross yourself in all these things; for except ye do this ye can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God. Oh, remember, and take it upon you, and cross yourself in these things."
*this scripture cross references with Matthew 16:24 and Mosiah 3:19

the phrase that we focused on was "cross yourself", meaning cut and get rid of the natural man and human lusts out of your life, gain self-control and self-mastery... which of course perfectly coincides with my "project" aka life! (don't you love how lessons, talks, and scriptures always pertain to your life) so going along with "putting off the natural man" and "cross yourself", brother norby brought up "non-negotiables". what are your defined "non-negotioables"? what are the things in our life that no matter what, we won't budge or settle? this got me thinking about my "non-negotiables" that no matter the circumstance, i will not give up or settle... temple marriage, the word of wisdom (drugs-alcohol-smoking-caffeine addiction), weekly church and temple attendance, tithing, just to name a few... it made me nervous and excited to really decide on and set some specific standards for myself and to commit to them forever! its like, what can people, more importantly Heavenly Father, rely on me for and always expect of me?

President Spencer W. Kimball said about deciding to decide about the "non-negotiables"...
"Now may I make a recommendation? Develop discipline of self so that, more and more, you do not have to decide and redecide what you will do when you are confronted with the same temptation time and time again. You need only to decide some things once. How great a blessing it is to be free of agonizing over and over again regarding a temptation. To do such is time-consuming and very risky."
"Likewise, my dear young friends, the positive things you will want to accomplish need be decided upon only once--like going on a mission and living worthily in order to get married in the temple--and then all other decisions related to these goals can fall into line. Otherwise, each consideration is risky, and each equivocation may result in error. There are some thing Latter-day Saints do and other things we just don't do. The sooner you take a stand, the taller you will be!"

this was only a part of the discussion, but it was another great lesson on self-mastery, putting off the natural man, and deciding what my "non-negotiables" are for eternity.... who am I and what do I stand for?!

work-out...
oh man, i was so not motivated today, unfortunately! i got 30 minutes on the bike in which is pathetic, but ya know, there's always tomorrow right!

food is good...
7:30am- bran cereal w/milk and banana
9:00am- grapefruit
12:00pm- chicken noodle soup, 10 saltine crackers, crystal light
4:00pm- apple and 10 saltine crackers
6:00pm- turkey, lettuce, and mustard; banana and peanut butter
8:00pm- banana and peanut butter, sugar-free chocolate pudding, sugar-free chocolate milk
h20- 12 cups

sweet simple acts...
i was walking out of institute this morning, and i pushed on a double-door to leave while a girl was coming in the other door, and it wouldn't budge. i tried like 3 times, feeling like an idiot yet laughing at myself cause i couldn't open the blasted door. and the sweet girl, instead of just walking away thinking i was a complete idiot (which is true, i am and idiot) she was like, "doors can be so dumb sometimes." i think i was just so surprised cause usually people wouldn't even acknowledge the situation, but she did and i just though it was nice of her to say something to help me feel not so stupid.

tender mercy...
sam has been on a "leave of absence" from volleyball for the past 2 weeks, and no one has any idea what's going on or when he will be back. i'm fortunate enough to talk to him and text him every now and then, and i am just hoping he really does just need a break and that nothing serious is going on. but anyways, the girls have been having mixed feelings about there head coach being gone for so long with no indication of when he'll return, so i finally talked with them about it. i basically let them share their feelings of concern, worry, and abandonment, and just explained to them how hard sam works all of the time and is constantly worrying about them, and even this mighty man needs to back-off, take a break, and regroup. it was a needed convo and the girls responded well and had a great practice. i'm just grateful Heavenly Father was with me (yes even to have a simple chat with the team), and that He is helping keep us together and blessing the girls with patience for having me as their temporary leader.

i'm so grateful that even though i felt very unmotivated physically today, i was blessed with great experiences and learned more about the gospel and how to apply it to me specifically. the gospel is truly in everything, and i would be no where without it.

"wickedness never was happiness"... righteousness never leads to misery

jakers... 19 days :)

"the best is yet to be"... day 3

happy "hump-day"! yes, it's wednesday and so far, so good.

sweet dreams...
so i really didn't have or don't remember any sweet dreams from last night, but i did wake up at 4am in a panic. i had a dream that i was running away from some scary guy with my kid (i don't remember what my precious child looked like). but it was stressful... there was a car chase, gun shots, and fighting to escape with me and whoever was chasing/trying to kill us. i don't think i've ever had a dream about that, and its been awhile since i've woken up due to a nightmare. i really had to calm myself down and think happy thoughts so i could fall back asleep. what a relief that it was just a dream! and ps. for the last few nights i've had the best sleeps ever! i'm nice and cozy and have gotten like 7-8 hours which is amazing! sleep is blessed and definitely necessary for me to be a happy girl!

workout...
20 minutes on the eliptical w/10-20 second sprints... 500 jump rope... brittney squats... 100 lunges... hip/booty band work-out... more butts, abs, and hamstrings
*bonus- 35 minute morning run with some legs and ab work... i was tired! and a light 45 minute bike ride this evening (at the gym)... i started reading Pride and Prejudice!

food is good...
7:00am- apple
9:00am- bran cereal w/banana and skim milk
11:30am- orange and 10 saltine crackers
1:00pm- turkey sandwich w/lettuce and mustard, apple
6:30pm- homemade chicken noodle soup (definitely not as good as mom's!) and crystal light
9:30pm- a few more bites of soup and yummy sugar-free chocolate milk
h20- 10 servings

wonderfulness...
besides getting so much sleep and a good run in, i received a visit from my dear friend Allyce! she is such an incredible person and we just get along so well. she is truly one of my greatest true friends who i can talk to about anything and who is such a wonderful example to me. love her!
i actually ended up having a few good chats today with some good friends, and that just makes me happy. i have the greatest friends and family! i got to talk to my precious roommate, Florida, tonight. she is such a beautiful and outgoing person, and it's always humbling to hear her talk about her struggles in life, which usually deals with the males in her life. i just want her to find that hope and strength in the Savior, and know that He does have a plan for her which may definitely include a husband and family. it just makes me grateful for my experiences and testimony of the gospel and Savior, and definitely motivates me to strengthen it.

spiritual upliftment...
i started reading the january 2010 ensign again today, and there is so much good stuff in it. the first article by President Uchtdorf is titled, "hold on a little longer" and is just incredible and goes right along with Elder Holland's article, "the best is yet to be". there is just great counsel from these great religious leaders that gives me faith and motivation to keep striving to do better. instead of recaping all of it, i just wanted to pull a few of my favorite quotes...

President Uchtdorf quotes President Harold B. Lee: "Testimony isn't something that you have today and you keep always. Testimony is either going to grow and grow to the brightness of certainty, or it is going to diminish to nothingness, depending upson what we do about it. I say, the testimony that we recature day by day is the thing that saves us from the pitfalls of the adversary."

President Uchtdorf: "If ever you are tempted to become discouraged or to lose faith, remember those faithful Saints who remained true in Kirtland. Hold on a little longer. You can do this! You are part of a special generation. You were prepared and preserved to live at this important time in the existence of our beautiful planet earth. You have a celestial pedigree and therefore have all the necessary talents to make your life an eternal success story."

Elder Robert D. Hales: "Self-reliance is a product of our work"

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: "Dismiss the destructive, and keep dismissing it until the beauty of the Atonement of Christ has revealed to you your bright future and the bright future of your family, friends, and your neighbors. God doesn't care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are an, with His helo, where you are willing to go."
"Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the 'high priest of good things to come."

Elder Ronald A. Rasband of the Presidency of the Seventy: "He cares, He whispers, and He watches over us in ways unique to eah of our lives."

Elder Neal A. Maxwell: "One's life... cannot be both faith-filled and stress-free... Therefore, how can you and I really expect to glide naively through life, as if to say, 'Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken. Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art! Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy jov!'... Real faith... is required to endure this necessary but painful decelopmental process."

i love gospel quotes and am grateful for their inspiration in my life.

dork moment...
whilst showering this evening, i'm pretty sure i washed my face twice! my mind was so not there, so my face received some extra cleansing.

i love busy days like this when i go from one thing to the next. it makes me happy to be productive, and i'm grateful that Heavenly Father continuously blesses me with opportunities to work and serve... now i just need to take better advantage of them.

... "draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me"

20 days til jakey's home!

"bridle your passions"... day 2

wow... i absolutely love the feeling of pure exhaustion, especially when you fall asleep right when your head hits the pillow! that was me last night, and i woke up refreshed and ready for a new day... not to mention i was starving!
my day started with a huge smile as i walked to my car in the rain... i love the rain, especially in the winter because it means i don't have to scrape my car window... simple pleasures :)

Spiritual Upliftment...
i went to institute this morning, and that's where the title of today comes from. we talked about Alma's counsel to his sons, and this scripture and this scripture came up...
"Use boldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love; see that ye refrain from idleness." Alma 38:12

to go along with the scripture, i found a quote from Elder Bruce C. Hafen... "Is self-denial wise because something is wrong with our passions, or because something is right with our passions? Alma taught his son: 'See that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love.' He did not say eliminate or even suppress your passions, but bridle them- harness, channel, and focus them. Why? Because discipline makes possible a richer, deeper love."

this is a new motivation for me... if i want to find rich, deep love and strengthen the love i already have, i need to have self control and self mastery. also, i love that its not about getting rid of all the goodness of movies, ice cream, reading, playing, sleeping, etc., but about the discipline and control. this is now part of my theme for this great project, to bridle my passions (have some self control, moderation if you will), refrain from idleness (get of the couch and work!), and be BOLD! the scriptures are true and i love institute!

food intake...
8:00am- apple (gala all the way)
9:30am- "lower sugar" oatmeal and light strawberry yogurt
10:45am- 12 saltine crackers and crystal light
11:30am- clementine
1:00pm- turkey sandwich w/lettuce and mustard and carrots w/ranch
6:00pm- chicken tortilla soup (from a can, tomorrow i'll cook!) and salad w/balsamic vinegarette
7:00pm- frozen yogurt and granola (perfect goodness!)
h20- 5 bottles
*it was a good day of food control for me. i get the munchies due to stress or boredom at work all the time and usually just keep eating, but today i refrained... small accomplishment, but it makes me happy!

work-out...
35 minutes on the eliptical with 20-20 second sprints... 180 lunges (my new best friend)... and the usual abs, arms, and hamsting/butt
it felt so good, but my legs are tired now! it's been awhile since i've done "sprints".
*bonus- 30 minute run... i can't wait for the ice to melt so i can run outside and not fall on my face!

funness...
-talked to daniel this morning on skype... weird people kept interrupting us with random questions, but it was great to catch up a bit
-caught up with the team and got to hear some exciting news for the summer... 4 weddings i believe!
-avatar with jess... we had been procrastinating seeing this movie cause we're not into the whole sci-fi thing, but it was AWESOME!! and the 3D glasses were stylish!

day two is almost complete... time for sleep and mental preparation for another fun-filled day... i have a lot of catching up to do!

... keep on keepin on!

PS... jakey gets home in 21 days!!

do or do not, there is no try... day 1

well, i've decided that it is absolutely perfect to start a "project" on A. monday, and 2. a holiday. i know people usually skip holidays, cause it's a "day off" but holidays can be some of my most productive days. i've had all day to get things situated, relax, and focus on this journey ahead of me, aka life. yes, everyday should be a holiday... happy Martin Luther King day!

work-out... (yes, this will contain insights to my fitness/health regiment)
mondays are usually my best work-out days. i take a 6am power pump class at gold's with the awesomest instructor! truth be told, she is my motivation to wake up at 5:15 monday morning (even on a holiday) because she kicks my booty every time and it just brings great joy to my heart. so thank you, kara, for another butt-whooping today! she loves working the butt and legs, and really just every part of the body. its good killin' fun... i will be sore tomorrow.
i got about 30 minutes of cardio on the eliptical too... i love getting random bursts of energy at the gym... endorphines are good!
*bonus- i got to go on a run and play some pepper with jessica! i love being active!

food...
diet is definitely a struggle for me. i can be pretty healthy, but i get in those craving/binging modes and you better watch out! i love dessert and just anything sweet! so yes, one of my goals is to be more health conscious. i'm not going for "no sugar or dessert", that would be the end of my happiness, but i am going to use the whole "moderation" idea and focus more on quality and quantity... better quality which will include more cooking on my part and less quantity which will require some self control (this is where the accountability factor come in).

today's food intake...
5:30am- apple
9:30am- grapefruit and 1 serving bran cereal with skim milk
12:30pm- vanilla yorgurt and 6 pretzels
2:30pm- turkey salad with egg and balsamic dressing
6:30pm- 2 whole grain pancakes w/sugar-free syrup and mixed berries, sugar-free hot chocolate
8:00pm- sugar-free chocolate milk
h20- 80 oz

i'm still deciding if i should list what i eat everyday, but i think its good for me to see what's going into, and if i have to write it down, maybe i'll think before i eat a whole pan of cookies!

accomplishments...
grocery shopping... cleaned and organized room... caught up with 24... vacuumed... laundry... cleaned bathroom... cooked dinner (well, i mixed and lauren cooked!)... watched the bachelor... finished day 1 of the "project"

i'm very grateful for the productive day i was blessed with and the peace that i feel. it was a great day for me all around, but it is only the first day... the real challenge begins tomorrow when i'm back to normal life, so we'll see how it goes. until then, its study and lights out!

good night :)

*do or do not, there is no try!

the beginning of project happy and well...

so i've decided that i'm in need of some purpose, motivation, and accountability in my life. i usually am pretty responsible and have good self control, but lately i've been lacking. i'm hoping that if i start posting my goals, progress, obstacles, set-backs, etc, that i'll get back on track with my life of direction and accomplishment.

the goal is to post my daily happenings, thoughts, feelings, successes, failures, and of course whatever randomness comes my way. i have no expectation of people actually reading this, come on who really cares, but it's more just for me to be accountable for something and have a project for entertainment.

here goes nothing...

*motto... "fixed with a determination to conquer and maintain" -2 Nephi 4:27